I am constantly asked about how Josy and I have been able to work together while having a successful marriage. Now this has been an 11 year process of ups and downs. I don’t claim to be some kind of “relationship expert” nor do I play one on T.V. I am not here to tell you these tips are going to be the answer to all your relationship problems. These are the 5 tips that have helped Josy and I have such a successful marriage and working relationship.
- She is my best friend first - Before Paleo Bakehouse, Josy was my best friend, then girlfriend, then fiance, now wife. Notice I didn’t even include the words “business partner”. Why? Because I work with my best friend, not my business partner. We have a clear understanding that if PBH came between us, I would simply walk away. I value my marriage much more than a dollar.
- Split up the chores - When it comes to our personal life, we split up our chores. She cooks, I clean. I do the laundry and take out the garbage, She bathes Monty. We play on each others strengths. We clean our apartment together (with Bruno Mars blaring in the background). You get the point. We are a team, so we accomplish everything together.
- Over communicate - We will have a “monthly meeting” and discuss things like finances, expectations, work, our relationship and how we can make everything better. Sometimes these conversations are not easy, but they are worth it. Setting your expectations upfront will help you know what your partner expects from the relationship (both receiving and delivering). Sometimes, when we disagree, we give each other space. It’s ok to get away from each other, cool down, and talk with a level head.
- Appreciation - I show Josy everyday how much I appreciate her by doing little things she enjoys. You don’t have to buy flowers everyday to show someone how much you care about them. Things like making her coffee in the morning, random hugs in the bakery, telling her how much I love her and telling everyone how much I love Josy in front of her are just a couple small ways I show her how much she means to me.
- Date - You are never too old to date your spouse. Take them somewhere new for dinner. Experience new things together. Go on a trip somewhere special. Take her dancing. This keeps the “flame” in the relationship alive. Even if your funds are low, it doesn’t take much time and money to go on a walk or cook dinner together.
Bonus. Grow With Each Other - I have a clear understanding Josy is not the same person she was when she was 16 years old and she will not be the same person tomorrow. She and I are constantly growing as people. What she may passionate about today may not be the same thing she is passionate about tomorrow. As her husband, my job is to adapt to the Josy of tomorrow, next month, year, decade. We will change, but the one thing that will always be constant is our love for each other.
I hope this post helped you get some insight on our relationship and give you some ideas on how you can better your relationship. Just like in business, things change, people change, goals change, and you always have to work at it. Relationships are not easy, but nothing good comes easy.
Happy Valentine’s Day,